When I graduated high school, my Grandma gave me a very special gift: her original wedding ring given to her by my Paw Paw when they married at age 18. Compared with the upgraded sparkly diamond she wore every day, the original ring looked plain and modest. It was cast in dull white gold with the tiniest flakes of diamond welded on. She told me, "This ring represents the love that built our family, and whenever you wear this ring, that love will surround you."
The pearl necklace my Grandpa passed down to me. The homemade CD of original love songs that Colin recorded for me when we were dating. Obviously these gifts are among the most precious I've ever received.
As much as I love choosing and giving material gifts (and I genuinely love it), the truth is that it doesn't cost a dime to give a deeply meaningful and appreciated gift. We are sacramental creatures who cannot help ourselves: we constantly move to make visible what is invisible. The whole point of gifts is to express how well you know and how much you love someone. Think of how meaningless even the most extravagant material gift would be if not given in love, how empty. Think of how there's nothing that exists, not a single material object, which could fill a void without love. Gifts matter when they show another that you care enough to pay attention.
Here several ideas for gifts that are totally free, yet worthy of giving to those you love.
Spiritual bouquet: A spiritual bouquet is a pledge of offering specific prayers and sacrifices for another. You could promise to pray a rosary every day for a month for them and their intentions. You could promise to fast once a week. Each act is like a "flower" in the bouquet. Whatever the offering, you can present them written on a nice card or letter. You could also present the spiritual bouquet more creatively.
A special possession: As some of the examples above describe, a meaningful gift can be a bequeathing. Is there a particularly sentimental or special object you could give? Is there something of yours they've always loved or connected with? Consider presenting it along with a special keepsake note.
Time and service: An especially touching gift my dad gave us was directing the construction of a new fence at our house. We paid for the materials, but we didn't know how to begin. He gave his time and expertise over several days to design and supervise the building. Can you offer a service connected to your own expertise or skills? Is there some job they've been meaning to do that you could finally execute for them (think organizing the garage, clearing the closet)? Could you give a week of coming over to cook dinner? Could you sneak into their house to clean it once a month? Could you plan a weekend of childcare so they can take a break?
Take a sentimental tour: For my mom's birthday one year, we loaded up the van with snack and a playlist of her favorite songs, then drove around New Orleans on a tour of all the significant places from her life—the ancestral family home, the house where she grew up, the high school she attended, the City Park stables where she and dad had their first date, the church where they married. At each stop, we hopped out and shared family stories. It was a glorious gift for everyone.
Affirmations video compilation: Ask everyone who loves your recipient to record and text you a short affirmation video about the recipient, then compile them into one movie. You can use apps like iMovie or Canva.
Affirmations book: This is the same concept as an affirmations video, but ask for the affirmations in writing rather than video. Compile the letters into a binder or just a large envelope.
Curated playlists: Make your loved ones a modern mixed tape and curate a series of playlists for various occasions relevant to their lives: playlists for the gym, running errands, cooking dinner—whatever their routines are. This gift is free to create on Apple Music or Spotify, yet displays a serious level of paying attention to what they do and care about. You can also make free playlists with an Amazon Prime account.
Make art: Create something personal—a poem, a song, a sketch, a painting, a typography quotation. Even if you don't consider yourself particularly creative or artistically talented, you can trace a simple but beautiful line drawing of a significant place (image search until you find one you like, then use your laptop screen at full brightness to trace). You can create typography quotations simply by typing a meaningful verse in a special font and making a print.
Memory jar: Write 50-100 favorite memories with your loved one onto strips of paper and fill a jar with them. They will forever treasure this gift. You can even add more as time passes.
Letters for when…: Write a series of sealed letters for various anticipatory occasions and title them—a letter for when you're lonely; a letter for when you're discouraged; a letter for when you're feeling lost, etc. Give all of them in one larger envelope with instructions to open and read as needed.
Family cookbook: Ask all your relatives to write down a special recipe and compile them into a family cookbook—either bundle together index cards or add printed pages to a binder.
Photography: When we got engaged, my brother took our official engagement photos in my parents' backyard. No outfit changes, multiple locations, or perfect lighting. This is all to say that I cherish those photos just as much as I would have if they had been snapped by a pro. If you are reasonably good with a camera or smart phone, give an hour of photography that they can save and print as they like.
Memory movies: Use an app like Canva, iMovie, or your Photos apps to create a short movies from photos of the past year. If you want to make the gift really impressive, make a series of several past years.
Teach them something special: My Grandma was a talented seamstress who once gifted me a week at her house so she could teach me to sew. Not only did I learn a valuable skill that I still use today, but I also cherish the memories of sitting next to her and learning. What's your expertise? Could you make an evening of teaching a few signature recipes? Could you give art or guitar lessons? The greatest gift is not only the skill, but your time and attention poured out for the one you love.
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